Keeper of My Soul
by philyra-tales
Summary: Wanderer is ready to take their relationship to the next physical level but Ian isn't sure he's emotionally ready for such a commitment. When they finally come together as true partners, not everything goes according to plan.


**This was originally my Smut University 2012 Assignment 3, but the extra scenes have been added.  
**

* * *

The first movie he could ever remember watching had a title he could not pronounce and a soundtrack he did not particularly care for. But there was a gentleman and there was a lady and he wooed her with champagne, roses and dancing.

Oh, the dancing! He was a boy, yes, but he was also a child, and he loved how her dress swirled every time he twirled her, how it billowed every time he lifted her up and the dips, those captivating dips. He could not believe how either of them could hold their poses but they did. He loved the waltz best. They would just go around and around and around, just like his favourite ride in the carnival, the merry-go-round.

He remembered asking his mother to record that movie, just for that scene, so that he could watch it again and again. He remembered being engrossed and mesmerized. He remembered thinking, "Boy, if I ever find a pretty lady one day, I'd take her dancing!"

But then the invasion came. At first, nobody knew and life was peaceful. By the time they figured it out, it was hopeless and everyone who could escape went underground and there was no more dancing.

* * *

"You want to dance? Now?" Wanderer asked as she eyed Ian's dishevelled form. His shirt still had traces of soil, his hair was all over the place and he was sweating from all the exertion he had done in the fields. Obviously, he had run back to their room the moment he had a break from his chores, his mind full of notions with dancing.

"Yes, dancing." He smiled even though his chest was still heaving, still panting. He was, by no means, scrawny or unfit, but a whole morning working the fields and then running back to their living quarters had been a little taxing on his lungs.

"I'm not sure if I'll be very good at it." Wanderer relented, seeing how important this must be to Ian. Yet, in all her different life forms, she had never danced before. She could sing relatively well from her time in the Bat World but dancing! Dancing was completely human.

"I'll show you." Ian beckoned her to get up from the bed and come closer to him. Her nose wrinkled at the smell of his sweat but he only laughed, saying their dancing will only take a minute. She wasn't sure where her hands should go; after all, Soul entertainment on TV rarely had dancing and she had never watched old human shows before.

Seeing how much shorter she was to himself, Ian lifted Wanderer onto his feet, allowing her to stand on it and then placed her hands on his waist. Again, that blush, the blush he enjoyed watching so much, started creeping up her face and she averted her gaze to hide it. He laughed rambunctiously, amused that he could get her to blush so easily. He positioned his hands very gently at the back of her neck and very slowly, they began to move as one.

Admittedly, he was never good at dancing, not even as a child and with Wanderer standing on his feet, he moved very slowly and awkwardly. Yet, this was one of the happiest moments in his life. He hadn't thought about that dancing movie in a long, _long _time but the unbidden image had come to him, strangely enough, while he was toiling in the fields and he couldn't shake it off. He couldn't help but think, "Wanderer is a pretty lady. I want to take a pretty lady dancing."

Perhaps he shouldn't have just come straight to their room looking and smelling the way he did but he just needed to have Wanderer in his arms. He wanted them to dance so badly. Dancing had been a deeply seated memory of his childhood and his childhood had seemed like lifetimes ago. Childhood was supposed to be the kingdom where nobody died but he had lost his parents and even as an adult, he lost friends like Wes. Too much had been taken from him but dancing, no, he couldn't let anyone take that away from him.

Wanderer could feel the muscles in Ian's body tensing and from the faraway look in his eyes, she sensed that he was somewhere immersed in his mind. He had a habit of doing that but that was one of the things she loved about him. Souls rarely ever had that look. They were focused on the present, the now, but Ian, her brave, beautiful _human_ Ian. She loved how he could be a world away, and with a single touch or word, he would always come back. He would always come back to her.

"This probably isn't my best attempt at dancing," Ian had to admit after a few minutes of graceless lumbering around.

"It's all right. I have nothing to compare it too." He laughed and Wanderer placed her head onto his breastbone. She only came up to his chest but this was her favourite place. It was familiar and comforting and despite the dirt and horrid odour coming from Ian, she felt safe and reassured.

They danced in this fashion for a little while longer before Wanderer lifted her head and spoke. "You probably need to head back now. Your break's almost over."

Ian looked into Wanderer's beautiful blue eyes and lightly brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face. He leaned down and gave her a chaste peck on her cheek, which was more than enough to set the blush rising again. "I want nothing more than to be with you forever."

This intimate moment, so calm that it was passionate, so simple that it was intense, changed the mood of the room immediately. Ian could sense it, and so could Wanderer. Ian's rough and calloused hands caressed Wanderer's shoulders tenderly as she stood on tiptoes to kiss him on the lips. Like most of their kisses, this one started innocently but as the fire burned through them, and fervour took over, it morphed into one of ardent passion and excitement. He kissed her deeply, pressing her into his body and loving how she felt upon him, how it was just the pressure of simply them, him and her. Her hands couldn't get enough of his face, the both of them touching and stroking until her skin memorized the feel of him.

She was contemplating proceeding with what she had in mind when a knock came on their rather primitive door, Jamie's voice floating through the cavern.

"Ian? Jeb really needs you back in their fields. And he says to quit harassing Wanda." There was a muffled snicker. "I didn't say that!"

"Fine, fine, I'll be there in a minute!" Ian called out and the answer seemed to pacify the teen enough to go running back to Jeb. There was no doubt in either of their minds that had Jamie not interrupted them, they could have very possibly gone the furthest they had ever been in their physical relationship.

Ian swallowed the lump in his throat and saw that Wanderer was indeed blushing once more. "Don't worry, he didn't see us," he joked.

"Of course not." She laughed, her high-pitched voice making a melodious tune. "It's just…weird, that's all."

"If you'd like," Ian said softly as he ran his stained hands through her hair. "We could continue this when I get back tonight." There was hesitance in Wanderer's eyes so he hurried to continue. "But only if you'd like."

Knowing that this was the moment she had been waiting for, she cleared her throat and ignoring the wretched heat on her face, her gaze locked with his. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," he breathed into her smile.

* * *

Aside from dolphins, humans were the only other species that engaged in the act of reproduction for pleasure. Wanderer hadn't known about this and when she finally figured it out, no thanks to Kyle's constant and unwanted commentary on Jared and Mel's nightly activities, she found herself fascinated. Souls obviously did not belong in that category. For them, the act of reproduction was excruciatingly painful, and was ultimately, a fatal sacrifice for motherhood. The thought that such an act, or something similar to it, could be pleasurable was a notion that never occurred to Wanderer. She _supposed_ it could be, judging from the rather risqué romance novels Kyle keeps throwing at Mel in jest and Wanderer picking them up to read because she had never seen human novels before.

When she was next alone with Ian in their room, she raised the issue, asking in a rather apprehensive tone if he would like to have sex with her. Caught unawares, he choked on the drink of water he was having, and had a coughing fit that lasted for almost ten minutes. She patted on his back but wondered about his reaction. The men in those books never responded the way Ian did. Perhaps she had asked him wrong?

"Do you know what you're asking?" Ian finally replied when he managed to calm himself down and the hacking coughs stopped.

"Of course I do," she said, sounding a little braver than what she was truly feeling. The blushing was creeping up her face but she fought to suppress it. How she wished her body wasn't prone to such a crippling condition.

He studied her intently as a bemused expression formed on his face. "Let me get this straight. You want us to have sex?" She nodded. "Why?"

Wanderer was caught off-guard by his questions. Those fictional men certainly didn't ask any prior to having sex with the females. Unlike Ian, they had seemed quite enthusiastic by the prospect of it all and were eager to jump into bed with the heroines, so to speak.

"I-well-" she stammered a little before regaining her composure. "Well, it's a human experience and I'd like to experience it for myself. We will be partners in the truest sense of the word and I'd like that very much."

It was not that Ian had no inclination to share such an intimate experience with Wanderer but the fact that he himself was still a virgin mattered very much to him. He had long made peace with the fact that his childhood was not the fairytale-kind; that he had lost people he loved as a child. But as an adult, he thought he would be stronger but he wasn't. Losing his friends to the invasion, losing Wanderer after reconciling with his conflicting feelings for her; it made him doubt the fact that he was ready for such a personal connection. He didn't think himself as ready. He couldn't possibly give himself to anyone; let alone Wanderer whom he loved with every fibre of his being.

Hearing what she had to say, he pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her. "I held you in my hands, Wanderer. I held you in your purest form." He smiled down at her; a smile so genuine and so beautiful that Wanderer almost felt her heart skip a beat. "We don't need to have sex to be partners. I love you, Wanderer, keeper of my soul." He grazed her cheek with the pad of his thumb and he kissed her lips, softly and gently and she knew the subject matter was out of the question, for now.

She turned to Mel next for advice, knowing that the woman she had come to count as a sister would, undoubtedly, have some good advice for her. On account of her own physically weak body, Wanderer had very few chores to do and was mostly relegated to the kitchens, preparing the day's meals. Mel was rarely assigned to such activities given her strong physique but when she broke her ankle from a particularly rough game of soccer, she had no choice but to accept the task of peeling potatoes with Wanderer.

"You want to have sex with Ian?" Mel asked, her eyes widened with surprised as her mind processed the information Wanderer gave a few minutes earlier.

"Why does everyone seem so surprised by this?" A quick burst of anger flashed through Wanderer but as quickly as it had come, it faded just as rapidly. "I mean, Ian doesn't seem to think it's a good idea either."

"Well, you can't blame him." Mel snorted in a rather unladylike manner but seeing Wanderer's upset demeanour, she quickly sobered up. "Wanda," she began in a kinder, gentler tone. "You just have to understand that you still look like a child. Kissing is one thing but this is sex. Maybe Ian doesn't want to feel like he's taking advantage of you. I mean, why else would you lie about your age, right?"

"Wait-wait, you knew?" Wanderer had thought of her deception as a brilliant concealed falsification but apparently, it wasn't as well hidden as she had believed.

"Please." Mel rolled her eyes. "It took us a while but we managed to figure it out. Jared thought it was brilliant, by the way. For once, it was very selfish of you."

"Well…" Wanderer shrugged but inside, she felt pleased. Perhaps it was leftover sentiment when Mel and her still shared a body but she liked it whenever Jared complimented her because it made her feel proud, almost smug that she was finally adjusting to being human.

"Look, I can't help you with what you're asking me. It's not right of me to teach you how to seduce Ian. We have to respect his wishes, and to be honest, it's a little creepy." She held up a hand when Wanderer tried to cut in. "That said, there _are_ things for _you_ to do that can, shall we say, ease the situation should he be ready to have sex with you."

Making sure that the rest of the women and children in the kitchen were well out of earshot, Mel proceeded to offer suggestions on steps Wanderer could take to prepare herself for the eventuality of sex, such as stretching exercises. Wanderer thought it was rather brazen of her to provide such guidance considering her own (practically non-existent) physical relationship with Jared, but given that Mel had been secretly asking her to sneak some contraceptives from pharmacies during their raids, she guessed that Jared probably had a change of heart. After their chores were completed and she was walking Mel back to her room, she even made sure to press a few wrappers into Wanderer's shaking hands and winked. "Just in case," she whispered.

Now that it was a few months later, and Ian had finally decided that he was ready for sex, Wanderer wondered if she should take those wrappers out from the hidden panel in the wall. What if that was too forward of it? She deliberated for several moments before decided to take one out to give to Ian later. She wasn't ready to be a mother yet and in view of the fact that she was in her human form, motherhood was certainly a possibility.

There was a knock on the door and Wanderer smelt Ian before he entered. She was expecting the smell of the vile cactus soap they usually used but Ian must have cleaned up with one of the gentle soaps she had collected in their previous raid. She collected enough for everyone in the caves to have a small supply of them but most only used it for special occasions. A burning sensation swept through her body as she thought of Ian judging tonight to be a special occasions.

"Hey," he greeted with a smile as he came through the doorway, closing the door with a soft click behind him. His hair was wet and messy from his bath and his shirt was a little crumpled from him simply pulling it over himself in haste but Wanderer didn't think he looked better.

"Hey yourself." Sitting on their bed, she watched him throw his towel into one of their crudely made laundry baskets and knew that he must be feeling as nervous as she was. He turned to face her and knowing that there wasn't much else to say, he closed the distance between them quickly and climbed into bed with her. He moved to kiss her, deeply and passionately, and she responded in kind, her body so craving and relishing the intense attention. His large calloused hands touched every single inch of her skin, from her face to her neck to her bare shoulders and her body hummed from his ministrations.

Their behaviour was completely different from what they normally exhibited. Their fondness for each other had always been displayed through chaste kisses and light touches. Even in the privacy of their room, they, and Ian in particular, were always careful to reserve their most ardent of affections for when they were helplessly and completely out of control, powerless against their own desires.

He gently pushed her to lie back down on their bed and his hands, very tentatively, began to touch her breasts through her shirt. "Is this okay?" he asked and she could only nod, the feel of him against her beginning to overwhelm her senses. She wasn't sure what she should do next and so, simply tugged on his shirt, her hands moving underneath to touch him. She could feel him shiver under her touch and after a moment to steel himself, he lifted himself to pull his shirt off.

Her eyes drank in the sight of him. She had seen him topless before, but now, in this moment, she was taken by his power and grace. Ian, the _human_ she stayed in a planet for. The man she could finally love in this body. Her hands went to pull her own shirt off and unclasp her bra. She grasped his hips as she pulled him back down to her and wrapped his arms around his neck.

Ian groaned as his hands covered her breasts, gently tugging at the tender buds. The sparks in her body ignited into full-fledged blazes coursing through her body, and she moaned, her hands pulling at his shoulders as her legs involuntarily spread. He ran a hand down her thigh and she wasn't sure she could bear the heat building in her any more. He leaned in and caught her swollen lips with his, pressing his tongue into her. This time the kissing was different. Softer, more intimate. Less demanding. She kissed him back, pushing back against him, and he trembled on top of her.

Very quickly, they undressed each other and when they were finally unclothed, he asked her once more, "You're sure about this?" He wanted to make sure that the both of them were ready for such an irreversible and momentous change to their relationship. Wanderer's answer came in the form of her pulling the hidden condom wrapper from under the pillow and giving it to him. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he tore open the packaging and proceeded to sheath himself.

He hovered above her, and feeling her shiver underneath him, he caressed her cheek. "Don't be afraid," he whispered.

"I'm not afraid," she murmured and she wasn't. She was excited to experience this innately human experience and she couldn't wait for them to be true partners. He was her intended, and she him, and now they were marking each other for life.

He began to press into her lips opened beneath his, his tongue sliding into her mouth as he stretched her open. There was slight resistance, a shudder, and then he pressed through. Wanderer felt stretched, full and slightly uncomfortable but she had anticipated all these; Mel's suggestion of stretching exercises finally paying off. She wrapped her legs around his waist and Ian stilled himself, giving Wanderer some time to adjust to being completely filled by a man for the first time in her life. When she gave him a small nod, saying without words that she was ready, he began to move. He tried to be gentle; he tried to move slowly, as much as he could force himself to. He slid in a few inches and pulling out to press in more. He could feel the small movements in her hips and he moaned against her shoulder as her insides pulsed through him and although he was new to this too, he knew he wasn't going to last much longer.

"It's okay," she cooed, rubbing up and down his back. She had expected this too; Mel had told her that women rarely ever found pleasure during their first time and that she shouldn't be surprised if Ian found his. Men usually had it easier and better in this aspect. "It's okay. Just let go," she whispered into his ear.

With one last thrust; Ian gave in to his pleasure and a shiver of that delightful culmination had him quivering. She made small sounds in her throat and when he collapsed on top of her, she kissed his neck. He breathed laboriously but moved to lay down next to her, mindful that he was much, much heavier than she was. The humidity in their room was becoming a little too stifling as Ian stroked Wanderer's sweat-dampened hair back from her face. But when he saw her through half-lidded eyes, he sobered up. "You didn't-you didn't-and I just. My god, I'm a selfish bastard," he chastised himself, shaking his head as he mentally berate himself further.

"No, no." She hurried to comfort him. She pressed herself up to him and kissed his chin. "I love you, I don't care about me not…climaxing." There was that silly blush again. "We can always try again."

"But-"

"I love you so very much and this just proves that nothing can come between them." As much as Wanderer had loved the physical intimacy they had just shared, it was more of an emotional catharsis for her. She saw them, him and her, as partners in the truest sense. "You're my _only _partner," she whispered against his jaw and he kissed her back.

He curled around her, holding her closer to his chest as he pulled the white sheet across their nude forms. He breathed in the scent of her hair and just as he was about to fall asleep, he mumbled, "We _definitely _need to try again."


End file.
